Category: Life

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Finding Space in Everyday Life

The last few weeks were a practice on slowing down; finding space to breathe; and just being. Life happened, one thing after another. Deadlines at work; back to back family events; financial worries; computer crises- are just a few. Yet I know that I have so much to be grateful for, especially a healthy and a beautiful daughter to come home to.

Life- this tour de force is churning around me leaving mountains of debris in its wake. It feels like sitting in the eye of the tornado and watching things around us swirl and change. Friends and families going through changes in their lives- a close family member battling cancer; a friend seeing her one year old son battling cancer; a couple trying to find ways to live together; a family going through unemployment and financial woes; friends trying to find significant others; and a new acquaintance going through separation. And on a more positive note- weddings, births, promotions, healing, travels and other opportunities.

As the lives around me are changing, my life is also moving at a very fast pace. Most days I feel like I am being passed through several ringers and by the end of the day I am drained and washed out. My levels of problems are what you may call the Cadillac versions of the problem world. My week looks like- some job dissatisfaction; a hacked computer and lost access to all my data; work commute woes; child care expenses;family demands and tussles; pressures of starting a business- these are the new normal of my new life. My days also include– toothless and heart aching grins from my daughter; peace and quiet of few precious moments alone ; launch of my small business; the assignment that went well; baby steps getting back into driving; and the slowness of Sunday mornings.

Finding the space to put every day into perspective by being mindful of what is around me and inside me, keeps me sane. For examples work deadlines have their own place in my new life list and it is definitely not at the top. This new realization allows me to live a somewhat normal and stable life- if it is not a life threatening factor- I know I will get through it.

Finding that space and perspective has everything to do with finding space in the day to day, to be in touch with myself. This may translate into quiet time on the mat, a fifteen minute journaling before o bed, quick walk, an extended yoga practice, or sometimes just a few mindful breaths before I go to bed. Finding space and perspective also means staying open enough to connect with people- family and strangers alike. Making time to spend a few minutes with the newly returned colleague from medical leave ; listening to the life story of that Uber driver who is going through death, separation, and job loss ; and rearranging the schedule to connect to a friend from ten life times ago.

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The Life I Want to Lead

I spend a lot of time thinking about what it means to live a ‘perfect life’.

Years ago, I stumbled across a Ted Talk on ‘life design’. I remember the tag line being something like, “since your life is your most important project why not design your life?” . Although, I did not listen to the talk, the phrase “life design” kept coming back.

I am a mother of two small children. I work full time as a program manager for a non-profit. My ‘normal’ days are filled with commute, office work, kids, and housework. Rinse and Repeat.

But strangely, in this time of crisis, I think I may have found my ‘perfect life’ or something close to that. I realize that I am extremely fortunate. My husband and I, we still have jobs, jobs that allow us to work from home. And we have a large extended family, both sets of grandparents living with us, helping care for our two very active children, and taking on the daily cooking.

My preferred methods of methods of relaxation are going for long walks, reading, being in nature, and sometimes cooking and baking. And I like to take long and frequent pause on my news and social media consumption. This past weekend, I picked up my phone twice and only for five to ten minutes. I didn’t miss it at all.

I prefer quiet and stillness. What is different this time around is that the world outside is also keeping a self-imposed quietude. And this makes a huge difference in the quality of my ‘slowing down’. I don’t have to be anywhere, no one is expecting anything from me. There is no pressure, social or otherwise, to go somewhere, be someone, and do something.

I have found that life has slowed down significantly for me. And as others have slowed down around me, it feels as if the benefits of quiet and stillness have multiplied exponentially. I automatically slip into the layers of stillness and quiet with very little effort.

Life has condensed into little pools of essentials for me. Undiluted by the outside hustle and bustle, I find that what is important has come into sharp focus. Besides the family, food, and shelter, and once those are squared away, taking care of myself has become a priority. The key, I have realized is ‘balance’. A balance between the space and time for the life essentials and for ‘me’.

This means carefully doling out the limited time I have between caring for my family; working for money (and some passion); and pursuing my various other interests that I have forever been putting on the back burner. These are practicing and teaching yoga; taking up running and losing weight; meditating and writing. Working from home full-time with no commute time in these corona virus days, I can find time for everything.

I started running -thirty minutes to an hour every other day. On weekends, my husband and I try to find time to run together. Since our favorite restaurants are closed and there isn’t much else to do, running has become a way for us to spend some time together. While I have lost a few pounds, the big draw is really the mental cleanse that I feel after a run and start the day on the right note.

I restarted my yoga and meditation practice. I do at least 15-20 minutes of yoga and meditation daily, sometimes more. I keep my practice fresh by watching ‘You Tube’ videos of some of my favorite yoga teachers. I am myself a trained yoga teacher. I have been wanting to start my yoga classes for a long time. I see this time today as an opportunity to start planting the seed for potential yoga clients. My mantra is one small step a day. The other day it was handwritten invitation notes to my neighbors to join me on an online yoga class. Every day I take a few minutes to study yoga poses. Every day I take notes on my yoga journal on poses or ideas for my yoga life. The goal is to keep learning and keep growing, no matter how small the step.

Finally, the hardest is writing, I have committed to one page a day. I have been reading various books and watching you tube channels on writing. My goal is to restart my blog, perhaps short essays on everyday life. Writing is an evolving journey with no set goals. Beyond the one page, and one blog a week, I keep everything free and open.

This is my preferred life design, the life that I have been wanting to lead, being able to take care of my family but also take care of myself; and balance between the essentials and the interests. To me, taking care of myself means spending time pursuing my various interest. And for the first time, I have been able to make time for everything that I want to do. And it feels wonderful for now !